the urge to erase yourself

bringing up my profile picture and clicking the x in the corner.

are you sure you want to remove it? sure. yes. somewhere in the background, my favorite record is playing. i wish it were my face, swallowed into the spinning. circling. like memory.

oh ah hon’, i know, baby, i know just how you feel. i believe you, janis. i do. circling. like hands braiding sorrow into my hair.

opening the chat, seeing them online, hoping they’re here too. lit by screens, staring at the same silence. that’s all we can give each other.

are you sure you want to delete this conversation? sure. this house of language in which sighs are rooms.

past two in the morning. listening to cars catching all green lights while i’m missing every one because i don’t know how to stop waiting. how great this is.

to love a girl into disappearing. and i’m not sorry at all.

Nina — the urge to erase yourself